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The stories below are flat out funny. Some are parody, some are crack, but all will make you laugh.




Aucta Sinistra
Bottoms Up, NC-17, 11,056 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *humor*
Summary: Harry-in-disguise meets Snape-on-holiday.

Beth H./BethBethBeth
Harry Potter and the Fanon Potions Master, PG, 1,450 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Crack, humor*
Summary: Harry has gone away on business. Snape may just be missing him more than he expected to.

Going Postal, PG-13, 9,139 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *None listed*
Summary: Years after his death, Albus Dumbledore still has the uncanny ability to pester people, as Severus and Harry will soon discover.

Book7BrokeMyBrain/Bk7BrokeMyBrain
Thirty Days Notice, PG, 4,697 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Established Relationship, Humour, Mpreg*
Summary: When Hogwarts is sold and Harry and Severus are forced to find a new flat, will they survive the process and each other?

Bronze Ribbons
Fun With Hunny, PG, 350 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Complete crack, Animagus sex, non-con.*
Summary: For [personal profile] nimori's Animagus Challenge.

Centaury Squill
The House-elf/Portrait Collusion, R, 3,400 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *None listed*
Summary: Years of observing Dumbledore have given another headmaster's portrait a taste for interfering in other people's lives.

Diana Williams
The Unhappiest Potions Master on Earth, PG-13, 5,645 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Humour, Romance*
Summary: Severus Snape and the Happiest Place on Earth? What's wrong with this picture? Everything!

Eeyore9990
Grabbing a Bite (Even If It's Not a Sandwich) PG-13, 1,400 words. (Chan, 17) Locked community, please
Content/Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Chan: Takes place at the end of DH, so Harry is still 17. Vampire!Snape*
Summary: Harry just wanted a sandwich and some sleep. He (eventually) gets some sleep.

Eriador117
Attack of the Rampaging Fluff Bunnies, PG-13, 1,721 words.
Warnings: (Chan) (highlight for spoilers) *humor, implied het, teacher/student*
Summary: Can Snape save Harry from the bunnies before it's too late?

Flora/Florahart
Anesthesia, NC-17, 6,950 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *humor, smut*
Summary: The basic idea here came from the blurb on the back of a Harlequin "Blaze" book called Sex Quotient. I'm pretty sure I changed the premise as I went, or at least, most of it, but the credit still goes there for the seed.

Pre-Emptive Makeup Sex, NC-17, 825 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *None listed.*
Summary: For the prompt: "He followed me home. Can we keep him?!

Severus Snape and the Disorderly Deathly Half-True Print, PG, 4,750 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Mild crack*
Summary: Severus finally (this week) got around to reading DH. He has a few comments for Jo.

Containment, NC-17, 16,100 words.
Warnings: (Chan, Harry is 17)(highlight for spoilers) *Drama, crack, chan, smut*
Summary: It has been a long road, and Potter is tired.

GMTH
Come for Christmas, NC-17, 1,923 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *PWP, Humor, Established Relationship*
Summary: Harry invites Ron and Hermione (and Snape) to come for Christmas.

Came for Christmas, NC-17, 3,715 words. Sequel to 'Come for Christmas'.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *PWP, Humor, Established Relationship *
Summary: Harry and Severus make good use of a few private moments during the Christmas holidays.

Icarus
Cursed Artefacts For Sale, PG-13, 6,362 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *humor, romance*
Summary: Severus drags Harry to a Wizarding auction. "Collecting Cursed Artefacts is a registered form of madness in the Compendium of Wizarding Mental Disorders and Other Things That Make You Twitch," Severus said, "like most compulsions to collect. But it's very a popular one and I plan to beat everyone else to it." Part of the Primer to the Dark Arts universe.

Lux
Poke, R, 734 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Established Relationship, Humour*
Summary: Harry gets horny in the middle of the night.

Flogging the Bond, PG-13, 1,972 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Parody*
Summary: An evil plan is afoot and Dumbledore must evoke that time-honored tradition of -- wait for it -- the *bonding* ceremony. Because as we all know, bonding is just a fancy way of getting married with a few extra perks.

Maeglin Yedi
Muggle Sex 101, by H. Potter and S. Snape, NC-17, 3,438 words.
Warnings: (Chan 16-18) (highlight for spoilers) *Chan, humor, realistic sex.*
Summary: Very realistic sex. It's up to you if you take any of this seriously.

Mahaliem
OMG! Not Another MPREG!, M, 6,000 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *If you'll read mpreg, you'll probably read anything no matter what it contains so why are you bothering with reading this warning? Mpreg, humor*
Summary: Harry and Snape fall in love, have a baby, and live happily ever after – NOT! (except for the baby part which is, unfortunately, true)

Potion Commotion, R, 16,500 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *None listed.*
Summary: Post-Hogwarts. To deflect Lucius Malfoy's unsought for attentions, Harry pretends that a love potion has caused him to be attracted to Severus Snape.

Wooing Harry Potter, PG-13, 2,755 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Non-Snarry pairing. If you're looking for an angsty, plotty story that plumbs the emotional depths of the various characters as they fall irrevocably in love, then keep looking because this isn't it. Pancakes have more depth than the characters in this story.*
Summary: Harry is wooed by both Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy

Minx/Miraminx
A Good Buy, NC-17, 9,171 words.
Warnings: (Chan, 16-18) (highlight for spoilers) *humor, romance*
Summary: The Gryffindors hold a slave auction. Guess who buys Harry?

School Work, NC-17, 6,115 words.
Warnings: (Chan, 16-18) (highlight for spoilers) *Humor, first times, chan*
Summary: Harry is convinced that Snape never reads his homework assignments so he decides he might as well have a little fun with them. So in the middle of each essay he writes porn or asks dirty questions.

Nimori
The Pandora Complex, R, 9,867 words. Read review here.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Humor*
Summary: Some boxes, once opened, are impossible to shut -- as Snape discovers when a student brings fanfiction to class.

The Cure, NC-17, 8,652 words.
Warnings: (Chan 16-18) (highlight for spoilers) *Addiction/Drug Use, Chan 16-18, Humor, song fic, Magical geis*
Summary: After Voldemort's defeat, Snape regains his freedom -- and he knows exactly what he wants to do with it. Now if the rest of the world would just cooperate...

The Seven-Year Itch, NC-17, 2,069 words.
Warnings: (Chan 16-18) (highlight for spoilers) *Chan 16-18, Violence/Torture, Humor*
Summary: Seven years is a long time when you have something you really want to say.

Odogoddess
Harry the Potter & The Good Prince Severus the Pouty, NC-17, 4,350 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Humour with the merest drop of angst and including - hair frottage, anal play, rimming, a hand job, and mention of happy porpoises having blowhole sex.*
Summary: The long captive good Prince Severus the Pouty finds handsome young Harry the Potter a most charming visitor...

Penumbra
Round Bottom, Twelve Inches, R, 3,307 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Humor*
Summary: It had always been the white ankle (and other bits) of an Englishwoman that had stirred Severus Snape's loins. That is, until he made a wrong turn and walked into Gaylord's House of Glugs and Slugs.

Predatrix
Occasional Table, NC-17, 11,693 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Explicit sex. Life-threatening situations*
Summary: Severus attempts the Animagus transformation with interesting results. Instead of an animal, he ends up transfigured into inanimate objects. Funny how many of those objects end up in a young Gryffindor's hands...and mouth...

Ptyx
The Substitute, NC-17, 4,173 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Polyjuice use, Romance, AU, a bit of Angst and a bit of Humour *
Summary: Snape and Harry share a crush on... Alan Rickman?!

Pushdragon
Um, PG, 819 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Crack*
Summary: The end is near. Or not.

Rhaegal
Duty Calls, NC-17, 4,889 words. Read review here
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *humor*
Summary: Drafted in to save the wizarding world from peril, Harry and Snape cross paths in a most unusual situation.

Tabu, NC-17, 6,729 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *None listed.*
Summary: Harry unwittingly accepts a job in a sex shop.

Rushlight
All I Want, PG, 1,708 words.
Warnings: (Chan, 16-18)(highlight for spoilers) *Chan, 16-18, humor*
Summary: Harry reconsiders his role in the books and decides he doesn't want to be the hero anymore.

Scheming Reader
Barmy, NC-17, 18,000 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Minor character death, humor, hurt/comfort*
Summary: "Harry rubbed his eyes. He felt quite a lot better for sleeping. 'You didn't forget again, did you?'
'No, I am in St Mungo's Hospital on the Spell-Damage Ward with my prof--with Severus Snape.'
'Very good, Longbottom.'
'Ha bloody ha.' "


Shiv5468
Cupid Stunt, PG-13, 7,914 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Bad puns, some het*
Summary: Is it really wise to put a bow and arrow in the hands of a man with a grudge and no hesitation about shooting people in the back?

Switchknife
Fucking Exams, PG-13, 1,079 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Humor*
Summary: What it would be like if Hogwarts did have exams in fucking...

Telanu
Your Horoscope For Today, PG, 3,547 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Humor*
Summary: The coffeemaker is broken, and Snape needs coffee. He really does. Like, he really needs...oy. What a day.

Oh, Just This Once, PG, 6,404 words. Sequel to 'Your Horoscope for Today'.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Humor*
Summary: Prequel-that-was-written-later to 'Horoscope'; how that unlikely union came about. Read them in whatever order you like.

The Con Cept (Also known as Abstract Concept and Starry Gazer)
Felinated, PG-13, 17,800 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *None.*
Summary: A potions accident leaves Snape as a cat until who-knows-when. Harry’s already got his hands full when a prankster starts sabotaging the rebuilding of Hogwarts. But what if it’s not just a prank

VAC
Harry Potter and the 4,149-Page Breakup, PG-13, 6,914 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *humor*
Summary: AU. Harry’s decides to deal creatively with his most recent breakup.

The Most Popular Halloween Costumes of 1998, NC-17, 3,441 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Humor*
Summary: In 1998, the most popular Halloween costume was Harry Potter.

Venivincere
Peer Review, NC-17, 7,071 words.
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Romance with a twist of humour*
Summary: Harry teaches Snape a lesson.

Ziasudra
In Which Harry Potter Was Watching Gay Porn and Severus Snape Unexpectedly Came Home Early, PG-13, 1,087 words. (Locked, please ask for friending)
Warnings: (highlight for spoilers) *Humor, AU, crack*
Summary: What if Harry Potter watches Hunter and Damon: Doing It Together? (For those who don't know, Hunter and Damon are beloved gay porn stars of the H/D corner of fandom.)


(Updated June, 2013)

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